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03-Sep-2016 10:09

But as I build up to it, most of the things that flash through my mind are either ‘too dominant – he wouldn’t believe it was me doing them’ or ‘not dominant enough – it sounds like I’ve read this one in Cosmo.’ So when a lady emailed me asking ‘have you got any good ideas on how to dominate a man?

’ I sent her my ‘Goldilocks’ list – some things that – while not perfect, and certainly not sure-fire hits with anyone, worked pretty well for me at one time or another.

Only a few of these could ever help realize my dream of Passive, Automated, Renewable, Diversified Income, but it’s still a great brainstorming tool.

If your partner has any kind of submissive tendency, and if – like me – you’re enthusiastic yet clumsy when it comes to wielding a whip and calling someone a ‘filthy puppy’, at some point you may well have heard the two most terrifying words in the English language: “Surprise me.” Surprises are hard enough when it comes to buying presents, but when it comes to sex they can range from disappointing to downright dangerous if you don’t quite get it right.

It's sometimes difficult to get over the worry of embarrassing yourself when texting, and waiting for a response after a pivotal sentence can be agonizing (possibly in more ways than one), but sexting can be incredibly fulfilling sexually. If you need help figuring out what to sext, reading erotica can help a lot.

The thing to remember is that your partner is probably not concerned with how many synonyms you know because they're too turned on.

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But although that eases any worries that I might do something so awful it turns them off submission forever, it doesn’t ease my other pressing concern: that I am a flailing, insecure, bungling twat.